Codependency is when one person becomes overly emotionally reliant on another, often giving up their own needs, boundaries, and sense of self. This dynamic tends to show up most often in close connections like romantic partnerships, family relationships, or friendships. Sometimes called "relationship addiction," codependency happens when someone constantly tries to care for, fix, or rescue another person, all while ignoring their own well-being.

What Is Codependency?

At its core, codependency is usually a learned behavior. Many people develop these patterns after growing up in environments where emotional needs aren't met, addiction is present, or healthy boundaries are ignored. A codependent person’s sense of worth often comes from feeling needed and focusing their energy on making another person happy or earning their approval. Over time, this can lower self-esteem and erode a sense of personal identity or independence.

Some core signs of codependency include:

• Putting others’ needs first, even if it causes personal harm.

• Feeling intense anxiety about being rejected or alone, which can lead to compulsive caretaking or compliance.

• Having trouble saying “no” or expressing personal needs.

• Needing validation or approval from another, sometimes even ignoring negative or hurtful behavior.

• Losing touch with personal goals, values, or interests because identity gets wrapped up in the relationship.

• Going along with what others want to avoid conflict, even if it feels unfair.
  
  

How Codependency Shows Up

Codependency can be subtle at first. It might just seem like deep loyalty, generosity, or being “always available” for a loved one. Over time, however, codependency can become unbalanced or unhealthy in these ways:

• Enabling negative behavior: Covering for a partner’s mistakes, making excuses, or taking over their responsibilities to protect them from consequences.

• Losing individual identity: Gradually dropping personal hobbies, interests, and friendships in order to focus on the relationship.

• Suppressing emotions: Avoiding sharing feelings, wants, or needs for fear of angering or losing the other person.

• Control dynamics: Trying to control a partner’s choices, emotions, or routines as a way to keep the relationship stable or close.

• Chronic anxiety or resentment: When the relationship isn’t balanced, the codependent partner may end up feeling anxious, unappreciated, resentful, or even depressed.
  
  

Common Signs in Couples

In couples, codependency can look like:

• Having a hard time setting boundaries and always saying “yes.”

• Feeling guilty for taking care of oneself or taking time for independent hobbies or rest.

• Holding back needs or desires to avoid conflict, which causes frustration or emotional distance.

• Playing extreme roles, such as a “caretaker” or “enabler,” leading one to be overly dominant and the other submissive or self-sacrificing.

• Ignoring personal values, health, or passions just to keep the relationship going.
  
  

The Path Toward Healthy Relationships

Healing from codependency starts with self-awareness. Recognizing unhelpful patterns, practicing new boundaries, and reaching out for support—whether through therapy, support groups, or educational resources—are key steps. Healthy relationships are based on equality, respect, and allowing both partners to grow, express their individuality, and care for their own needs.

It’s important to remember: codependency is not a permanent condition. Because it is learned, it can also be unlearned. With time and support, people can develop new relationship patterns that foster true connection, safety, joy, and growth for everyone involved.